


Earth C has Ikea

by Sadsymphonys



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Bisexual Dave Strider, Bisexual Karkat Vantas, Cuddling & Snuggling, Earth C (Homestuck), Fluff, Help, IKEA, John Egbert (mentioned) - Freeform, Just a bunch of pairings with 2 genders, M/M, Smuppets (mentioned), That last one is so fucking canon there wasn't even a tag for it, pillows, things are good
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-15
Updated: 2018-01-15
Packaged: 2019-03-05 01:21:51
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,435
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13377126
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sadsymphonys/pseuds/Sadsymphonys
Summary: New human/troll society wasn't gonna be complete without everyone's favorite shitty swedish furniture store. Who would Dave Strider be without pulling some crazy shit for the ironies? And to pleasantly surprise his boyfriend of course. Mostly that.





	Earth C has Ikea

**Author's Note:**

> I've literally never written a fic before in my life but i can't find any works that are pure honest fluff right from the start so i'll do it my damn self. And if it's any good, you're welcome. Innuendo's will happen but there's no smut. 
> 
> //edit: made it a little longer and hopefully flowing a little better. Also changed the 'you' POV to 3rd person cause my friebd suggested it and it probably will be easier in the long run so!

"Yo Karkat!", Dave yells as soon as he kicked open the door to their can-shaped home. The only reply he gets is a startled yelp originating from the living room, followed by a relatively quiet (for Karkat's standards) exclamation of ''Jegus!''

"How many times have I told you to be FUCKING CAREFUL with the doors of our hive? What could be so important that your nookstink addled thinkpan just completely lacks the ability to-"  
Dave only lets his boyfriend rant for the amount of time it takes him to float over to where he is sitting on the couch, legs curled up on the seat (saucy romance novel abandoned in favor of scolding his matesprit for his ungentlemanly behaviour), and hovers over him, planting a kiss on his temple while rubbing his little horn, and effectively causing him to trail off mid-sentence. 

"Yo Karkat," Dave repeats, quieter this time considering his current proximity to Karkat's ears (not everyone is an angry, shouty, adorable troll). "I got us something."  
"What is it, dumbass?" He asks Dave, pulling away from the time player's grip on his horn, but already pacified.  
"So you know that earth thing we were talking about, the store where you can buy parts of furniture to put together yourself, 'cause you know since you and Egbert didn't get together to seize the means of production, how better to celebrate that? Not to mention all the family fights breaking out over which part goes where because of the shitty instruction booklet. Jimmy where the hell did you put screw number 7, oh I don't know dad I think the dog ate it, no wait shit it was the baby, get him to the hospital, we won't even need to build this damn crib if we let him try to digest some fucking screw,-"  
"Yes, I know what store, Dave," Karkat says, pressing his finger to Dave's lips. "Get to the fucking point doucheface." Fighting the minor twinge of disappointment at being cut off mid-analogy (but he means MINOR, Dave loves annoying his boyfriend), he gets to the fucking point.  
"Yeah, right, so, they finished building it, it opened up today, and I went in and got us something. Well, some things. As in multiples. As in a lot." 

Karkat's facial expression grows more curious every time Dave starts on his next short sentence, but mixed in with his earlier frustration it just reads, 'not close enough to the point jackass, I can't believe you distracted me from the main character finally getting it on with her new matesprit, I WILL have justice' so Dave makes to cut off that presumed train of thought as quickly as possible.  
He plops down next to Karkat on the couch and pulls one of the mystery items from his godly sylladex, promptly shoving it in his lover's face, like it was John's bucket message from who even knows how long ago. Damn, time sure flies when none of the remaining group of humans and trolls are in constant mortal danger anymore. They've all done really well for themselves.. haha, Karkat with a pillow in his mouth. Actually a pretty funny sight when they're both fully clothed.  
He lets out an effectively muffled shout of indignance and shoves the fluffy item out of his face to take a proper look at it.

"Dave, we already HAVE pillows. We're sitting on pillows right now.", he points out, clearly not convinced he should be as excited as Dave is (and no longer internally, he can actually drop that impassive shit around Karkat, it's nice).  
"Yeah but did we have enough pillows to do.. this?" Dave replies, smirking mischievously. He's got nothing on Terezi on this front, but he makes do. He has to keep surviving somehow, trying not to wallow in shame.  
As the time player finish that sentence, he ejects the rest of the pillows out of his sylladex, all at once, burying his boyfriend and himself in soft mass that should probably give Dave wartime flashbacks of his childhood, spent randomly pelted with and sometimes covered in Smuppets. But it doesn't, seeing as the cases are made of a cheap, almost silky polyester rather than scratchy felt, plain white decorated with rings of orange dots.  
The sound that comes from Karkat next is kind of hard to identify, seeing as he's about three times as muffled as he was with just the one pillow, but fuck if it doesn't make the other break out into a fit of laughter anyway.

Dave hears him moving around, or trying to, kicking his way through the pillows until his hand finds Dave's shin. Karkat follows that leg up, almost climbing, eventually finding his matesprit's face. His quest shifted the pillows enough for both of them to be uncovered from the shoulders up, which is good because it enables Dave to witness the full force of the glare coming from a troll who is trying to be VERY mad, and is failing miserably.  
"Dave. What. The everloving FUCK. WHY. Did you get this many pillows. I will-", He snorts, still trying to hold off on joining Dave in his satisfied mirth, "I hate you. You're a fucking dork, Dave." He seems to give up on trying to be mad about this, sniggering a little.  
"How did they even let you take this many?" He asks once Dave fixes his composure, leaning back a bit in the comfortable pile the latter so generously provided.  
"First of all, I'm a fucking god, 'I do what I want'," he says in a flawless impression of Cartman, which of course flies right over his boyfriend's head, but who says people can't do things for their own amusement?  
"Second of all, they had an absolute fuckton in stock. These things were literally a boonbuck a pop. If they didn't want people coming in buying a mountain of shitty polyester pillows instead of a bed, couch, and living room rug, they shouldn't have made them so cheap." He finishes with a shrug, a grin still plastered on his face from his earlier gigglefest.  
"You know what? I'm not even gonna argue with that." Karkat states, again trying to sound exasperated, but judging by the half-smile-half-grin he shoots back at Dave, it translates into him being completely at peace with this situation. Karkat scoots over to the other, kissing his cheek and then his mouth, briefly, before settling in beside him with his forehead pressed into Dave's neck.  
"So now that our clusterfuck of a quadrant-system-shredding relationship includes piles, what's your plan Dave?" Karkat sighs, nuzzling further into him.  
"Well I was sorta counting on you having a shitty romcom marathon going, and there's no way I'm gonna try and excavate the DVD player right now so, I don't know." He'd shrug, but he doesn't really wanna jostle his boyfriend's head. "You got any ideas?"  
"Well," Karkat replies, sounding almost out of breath somehow, sort of sleepy? "I wouldn't mind just snuggling for a little bit. These fuckers are comfortable."  
"Hell yes, request fucking granted." Dave tells him, turning his head to plant a kiss on the top of the blood player's head, before resting his cheek on it. Karkat nuzzles further into the human again, maneuvering his arms around Dave as the latter does the same, and there go his legs folding over Karkat's lap cause he's lower down in the pile. Hell fucking yes, they're making it hapen.  
"You should take me next time, stop you from fucking clearing out their entire stock of whatever the fuck you come up with next."  
"Hey, I thought you weren't gonna argue about it? I know you Karks, you love me for this, the gratefulness and all other kinds of warm and lovey feelings are just rolling off of you like snow down a mountainside, my gift of pillows caused an avalanche of fucking certified Karkat fluff, nobody in the valley is safe-" not that far into his spiel Karkat's lifted his head from under Dave's to press a kiss to the corner of his mouth, interrupting him a second time, though he's even LESS mad about it this time.  
"Thanks Dave. It IS nice." He says, plopping his head back down on his lover's shoulder.  
"Fuck yeah it is, I'm a genius. But you're right, I do need to take you, they have pretty good meatballs."  
"I love you, fuckass." Karkat says after a short amount of silence, sighing, sounding like he's gonna drift off any second.  
"Love you too Karkles." Dave replies, closing his eyes, intending to join him.


End file.
